I have made it through my first year of being a mom. That is truly no easy feat!
I would say hands-down this past year has been the hardest of my entire life. And when I say it’s been the hardest, I don’t mean it’s been a bad year, not by any means. I just mean it’s been challenging. I’ve stretched farther than I’ve ever stretched before. Learned more about caring for someone than I ever thought possible. Lost many nights of sleep. Wiped many tears. Yet through it all, I’ve grown stronger. I’ve loved deeper.
In the beginning it felt like I didn’t know how to swim, yet I was thrown overboard straight into the waters of new motherhood. Though at times it felt like I was barely treading water, and let’s be honest, sinking. I made it. I survived. Tummy troubles, food intolerances, difficulties with sleep, baby blues. Change seems to be the name of the game with motherhood though. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on it all, something new pops up. I’ve come to expect the unexpected, to embrace the inevitable change. I’m finally feeling a bit more confident and a little less anxious. When he cries it’s no longer a scramble to figure out what he needs; I usually know.
Being a mom, the joys outweigh the difficulties until they almost don’t exist anymore. The first time he noticed a toy, to the first time he rolled over. Giggled my favorite gut wrenching laugh he now does so often. The first time he said “ma”, to the first time he gave me a kiss. His favorite words… “ball”, “more”, “mine”. His first steps. I’m in awe of him, every breath he takes I become more proud of the little person he is becoming.
I’ve been going through videos from the first moments of his life. He had much more hair and chubbier cheeks… well maybe. Seeing him in those videos makes me realize that he isn’t a baby anymore. He’s become a vibrant, spunky, and fun-loving little boy. He’s walking, throwing, yelling, talking. My sweet baby boy has become a toddler in the blink of an eye.
I know that having a year of motherhood under my belt does not make me an expert parent. Far from it! The toddler years are here and there is still much learning to come, new challenges to face. I want to continue to learn as a parent, and stay confident in my ability to be B’s mama. I want to soak up this time as a family of three. One day we will hopefully have more children, but right now, he is our one and only. I want to treasure this one-on-one time with him while we still can.
Happy Birthday to our sweet baby boy. You are our everything and your first year with us has been the best year of our lives!